Friday, June 24, 2011

Me and the Dentist are BFFs

Speaking of pain, I got to spend an hour and a half of quality time with my Best Friend Forever, the dentist yesterday. I don't really want my BFF to be the dentist, but it seems like we hang out way too often. In the previous sentence, "hang out" means:
  • Sit in his chair
  • Let him work on my teeth with an industrial-strength drill
  • Smell smoke and realize that burning smell is, um, me
  • Try not to cry
  • Make grunts as I try to form answers when he asks questions
  • Try not to drool on myself too much as I leave his office
I am on a first-name basis with everyone in the office. I'm not exaggerating about this - when the dentist saw me he shook my hand and said "How's it going brother?" He is very friendly and competent but I DO NOT want to know the dentist so well that he calls me "brother".

I had a chipped crown that he had to drill and grind out of my mouth so that he could put a new one in. Sweet angel of death, it hurt. I broke into a cold sweat as I got worked over. It was a long hour and a half.

Judging by how often I see the dentist, you'd think I haven't touched a tooth brush since Vanilla Ice was cool. But that's not true. In fact the last time I had a cleaning, I heard the hygienist going around to her other hygienist friends saying "My patient's home care is excellent!" She was like a proud parent.

With my "excellent home care", I'm not sure how I continue to develop problems worthy of hanging out with my "brother" the dentist. I'm hoping it will be a long time before we get to hang out again.

What's your best dentist story?

Once after a root canal I couldn't drive home because I was so loopy after 2 hours of laughing gas.


  1. hope youre dentist free for awhile

  2. so, is that a picture of your ACTUAL dentist with that hilarious mask on? the dentist is way too familiar with my husband as well. not only is it painful (literally) to have to be at the dentist so much, but a HUGE pain in the wallet!! oh, and my one and only dentist story was when i was about 13, had just gotten my braces off and ended up with four cavities. got them all filled at once, so i was pretty numbed up. it was my first experience with having a numb mouth, so i didn't realize i couldn't actually suck on a straw properly until i looked down to see my entire chocolate milkshake on my shirt. guess i couldn't feel that it wasn't going where it was supposed to go...

  3. "How's it going brother?", bahaha! Hope you can stay away from that place for a while!

  4. ohhhhh, the dentist! I white knuckle just getting my teeth cleaned Cory! How can I run a marathon, yet cry over a teeth cleaning!?

    I had one scold me like a child once for complaining. Meanies!

  5. Um if that is actually your dentist I will DIE. It's hilarious that he calls you "brother" and that you know everyone my their first names! I HATE the dentist and cringe every time. There is something NOT right about a man with big hands forcing your mouth open beyond it's capacity!

  6. Ugh... I hate the dentist. One of our very best friends is a dentist, but I don't use him because I want to like him into the future! :)

  7. Does anyone like going to dentist?? bleck. I hope you don't have to go back for awhile. And that picture is hilarious, yet disturbing!

    Hey, I would really really appreciate it if you could help me spread the word about the big fundraising giveaway I have going on right now. I have over $650 worth of great prizes for runners and am raising money for a great cause. Thanks so much!!!