I Didn't Rob A Bank

Monday, February 20th 2012: 30 miles @ 11:57 minutes per mile. This was my longest run since the Javelina Jundred. I started running a little before 6am and it was bitter cold outside. How cold? So cold that I wore this:


Don't worry. I only felt half tempted to rob a bank. I wouldn't have dared to wear this if I ran in the neighborhood. I think that could be asking for trouble. My brother-in-law said I looked like a spelunking burglar.

My biggest problem for the first 7-8 miles was that the water tube on my hydration pack kept freezing. For a while it was completely frozen. The good thing is that the ground was frozen also. Once the sun came up, certain sections were pretty muddy and slippery.


Although it was really pretty watching the sun come up and start to light up the red mountains. (And did I mention that it was freezing cold?)


I'll be honest, this was a tough run for me. I didn't feel awesome for the last 8ish miles. 30 miles on trails is hard. A few times I thought to myself "Wow, what have I done? How in the world am I going to run 100 miles here? Maybe you should go back to 5k races instead." My right knee started to get tight and sore so I was definitely glad to be done.


Tuesday, February 21st 2012: Rest. The ol' knee was still gettin' it's tight on.

Wednesday, February 22nd 2012: Rest. I must be inviting bad karma somewhere in my life because I walked into a gas station and the speaker was playing a Michael Bolton song. I am being honest. After my anti-Bolton comments last week I was shocked to hear one of his songs. This is 2012 for crying out loud! Who in their right mind thinks to them self "Yea, I think this Michael Bolton song would be good to put on the rotation for the gas station music." Ahhhh, the humanity.

Thursday, February 23rd 2012: 7 miles @ 12:47 minutes per mile. Those couple rest days made a huge difference and I was surprised how much better my knee felt. I am so thankful. I ran on the Prospector Trail and the scenery is just incredible.

I know the upcoming picture looks like I'm jumping off this rock. But that's not what happened. It was so insanely windy that I just lifted my arms and went flying into the air. The city I live in is named Hurricane. This day was yet another reminder of how the city got it's name. (Actually, almost everyday gives another reminder.)


I saw this on the way home just to show you how hard the wind was blowing. Just out of screen shot is a semi truck flying overhead. And I heard little people singing "We'd like to welcome you to Munchkin Land!" Creepy.


Friday, February 24th 2012: 4 miles @ 10:08 minutes per mile. Just a short early morning pre-work run.

Saturday, February 25th 2012: I went on a bike ride with the wife. Great times were had by all.


We happened to cruise past an aid station for a century ride going on in the city. I joked with Mel that we should have stopped for breakfast. Nobody would have ever known that we weren't part of the organized ride.

I think the weather will be warming up so no more wearing the burglar mask. And if someone robs a Hostess store wearing something similar, I promise....it wasn't me.

When Ostriches Attack

Ostriches like to eat fingers. Seriously! Just ask my daughter.


A few years ago the family headed up the road to Zion National Park. Our kids begged to stop and look at an ostrich farm along the way. We agreed, though we regretted that decision after the trauma that ensued.

We bought a little bag of food that spectators can throw through the fence for the ostriches to eat. The kids were ecstatic to have this opportunity. We quickly realized the folly of our purchase.

Those ostriches were so completely ugly! They looked like God's practical joke on the animal kingdom. The children were as happy as could be, ostrich food was flying everywhere, smiles were pasted on faces, and life was simply magical. But then......

A loud shriek shattered the excitement. Danica was screaming in pain. She ran toward the car. Tears were streaming. The screaming continued. And continued. And.....continued.

Apparently, when little children nonchalantly grab the fence, their fingers look like delicious little Vienna Sausages. Suddenly ostriches aren't so interested in ostrich food. Human flesh seems much more appetizing.

Fortunately, no blood was spilled. No fingernails were lost. And we realized that it is incredibly difficult to appear sympathetic when you are laughing. The ostrich owner witnessed the brutality and brought Danica an ostrich feather. Apparently ostrich feathers have magical healing powers because she quickly stopped crying. So let this be a lesson to you kids. Don't feed your fingers to ostriches.


For all of you who are brave enough to see how much ostriches love to eat humans, check out this highly funny video:

Amazing Running Video and A Winner

I saw this video on Ryan's blog a few days ago about a runner named Ben Comen. Ryan said that this video "would move you to tears". Yea, right. I'm a man. I'm pretty sure I won't be moved to tears. Bring it on.

I hate to admit it.....but Ryan was right. Please, do yourself a favor and watch this clip. I'd dare say it's some of the best 8 minutes you'll have all day.


Also, I'm happy to announce that Kara from It's A Dog Lick Baby World is the proud owner of the CDs, Subway card, and some Gu. You ought to visit her blog while you're at it. She's what you would call - very funny.

The Devil and The Angel

I have been building miles for a while so it was time for an easy week.

Monday, February 13th 2012: It was pouring rain and just miserable outside. Would you like to know exactly how miserable? I ran 5 miles on the dreadmill. Admittedly, it wasn't too bad. While I ran I watched the movie Forks Over Knives. It's about diet and health in our country. I thought it was interesting. Have you seen it?

Tuesday, February 14th 2012: I celebrated love by eating a pink frosted sugar cookie the size of my hand. These things are slightly dangerous. I often say I'll eat half now and half later. And then before I know it....the whole thing has evaporated.

Wednesday, February 15th 2012: 18 miles @ 12:24 minutes per mile. This run was, in a word, miserable. Eating cauliflower while listening to a duet with Michael Bolton and Celine Dion in my bedroom would have been more enjoyable than this run. On a scale of 1 to 10 for how awesome this run was, I'd rank it .0073.


Another 3,000 foot elevation gain run in the Red Cliffs Desert Reserve accompanied by a hefty supply of wind, rain, mud, and a dash of snow. It was unrelenting. There was no break. I was happy to find a little cave to get out of the rain for a few minutes.


As amazing as the trails are around here, they are torture not very fun when wet. It's not your average mud. It is two inches of modeling clay on the bottom of your shoes. No use trying to get it off because it will pile back on with the next step. It is like trying to run on a sheet of butter. Hence my embarrassing pace which doesn't even take into account the times I stopped to shake my fists at the sky and beg it to stop raining while I tried to hold back tears take a picture.

It wasn't just the weather's fault though. I just couldn't get the juices going. I thought my Garmin watch was broken because the miles were dragging by so slowly. Many sections of the trail were great for exploring but not really fast for running. For example, the times I passed through dry river beds:


I had an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other shoulder shouting at me the entire 18 miles. The conversation went something like this:

Devil: You have got to be kidding! This is insanity. I want to go home.
Angel: Suck it up! Are you a man, or are you a Muppet?
Devil: If your family saw you out here, they would commit you to a mental institution.
Angel: Wow, even with warm gloves you have an uncanny ability to develop corpse fingers when it's cold outside! Very impressive!
Devil: Trying to run 18 miles on butter is just plain useless and dumb.
Angel: Mmmmmmmmmm. Butter.

My only saving grace was a new water-proof jacket I just bought. I was still cold and miserable but at least the top part of me wasn't drenched.


I don't mean to complain. I'm sorry. Nobody wants to hear whining. In retrospect I should have just run on the road and saved myself the hassle. But the scenery really was beautiful. And maybe this really crappy run will be good training for races in the future.

Thursday, February 16th 2012: Rest.

Friday, February 17th 2012: Our family went on a hike in Confluence Park. This hike is just a few minutes from our house but most neighbors don't even know it's here. We had a blast.


We took Ace and he seriously thought he had died and gone to heaven.


Jackson was throwing rocks in the river and I caught this splash:


We wanted to stay longer but we were trying to beat the sunlight so we wouldn't have to hike home in the dark. We'll definitely be back again.


Saturday, February 18th 2012: 11 miles @ 10:58 minutes per mile. This run totally made up for the misery earlier in the week. I ran on an easy dirt road instead of technical trails. I gained 1,023 feet instead of 3,000. And best of all.....it wasn't raining! I felt good and I think I could have gone farther or faster but I decided I'll save it for another building week next week. If schedules work out I'll plan to get in a 30 miler.

Seen any good movies lately?
Forks Over Knives was the first I've watched in a while, courtesy of Netflix.

Can you think of anything worse than eating cauliflour while listening to a duet with Michael Bolton and Celine Dion?
Seriously. I want to hear your best "Worst Thing Imaginable" comments. Winner gets 87 bonus points which aren't redeemable for a single thing. Speaking of winning, only a few more days for the giveaway.

My Funny Valentine

I got the cutest Valentine card from my 7 year old Kylee. It said:

I love you so mutch! I think you work rully rully hard!!! But this is an awored that I am giving to you for do so mutch for me!!! You are the best dad in the yuniversity!!!

I must say, I'm pretty happy to be considered the best dad in the yuniversity. I pretty much adore this little creature.


Isn't Valentine's Day awesome? You get to celebrate love by eating large quantities of chocolate!

Don't forget to enter the Most Incredible Giveaway Ever. (Do I have to surrender my Man Card by saying I like Coldplay?)

Most Incredible Giveaway Ever

I like me a good contest. And since I like me a good contest, I decided to host the Most Incredible Giveaway Ever. I got a collection of some of my favorite things to give away:


1) A Subway gift card
2) The new Coldplay CD “Mylo Xyloto” (one of my favorite new CDs)
3) My piano CD “You Will Soar”
4) Some Vanilla and Tri-berry Gu (these are my favorite flavors)

Want to win the Most Incredible Giveaway Ever? Here’s how:

1) Be a blog follower. Just click the blue Join This Site button on the right side.

2) Leave a comment telling me your favorite place to run. (1 entry per comment, you can make more than 1)

3) Give a fastcory shout-out on your blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. (2 entries each, just leave a comment saying what you did)

That’s it. Easy. Winner will be chosen at random in one week on February 22nd. Good luck!