Hostess. Has. Gone. Out. Of. Business.
This is a post I never thought I would have to write. The realization that Hostess will never again be a part of my life is hard to swallow. (Even harder to swallow than all those Hostess-wanna-be products.)
Saying we will no longer have Hostess is like saying we will no longer have rainbows. Or grandmas. Or air.
Hostess reminds me of my childhood when our family would sit around the fireplace laughing, hugging, and talking about how awesome MC Hammer was. Okay. All of that is a lie. My parents never brought Hostess home to us. Something about not wanting to rot our teeth….or our blood stream turning into frosting. Blah, blah, blah. But still, Hostess has been part of my life ever since I was old enough to ride my bike to the grocery store with a pocket full of dust bunnies and allowance money.
There is the selfish part of me that is trying to talk myself down from the edge of the cliff. I can’t imagine a cold, dark world without Hostess Cupcakes. But even more gripping is the sad realization that my grandchildren will never be able to taste heaven. And by “heaven” I mean “Hostess Raspberry Filled Powdered Donuts”.
I still can’t believe this is real. I’m waiting for a press release from Hostess saying “Ha ha America! You’re on Candid Camera!” I’m fully expecting Ashton Kutcher to pop out of a closet to tell me I’ve been punked.
I will miss you Hostess. I will never forget you. You will always be a part of me. (Literally, thanks to all your preservatives.)
In the words of the wise philosopher Whitney Houston, “IIIIIeeeeeIIIIIII will always love you!” (Side note: I’d be willing to bet that this was the first time the words “wise” or “philosopher” have ever been used in the same sentence as “Whitney Houston”.)
I loved ding dongs and cannot imagine life without them!ReplyDelete
Just stock up, all of it lasts forever anyway. :)ReplyDelete
I have one Twinkie left and it's taking everything in me to either ration it or sell it for big bucks on eBay.ReplyDelete
Hang in there, buddy! You'll make it through!ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry for you loss....you never know though, the recipes exist, some company could pick up the line someday. Here's to hope.ReplyDelete
I've been in mourning ever since I found out. It's like the world is ending. Who cares who is president when there is no twinkie. Who cares about feeding the hungry when there is no "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips".ReplyDelete
Life has lost all meaning.
Maybe you'll have to change the name of your blog to 'extremely fast cory'. Once all that Hostess stuff it out of your system you might just run like the wind! ;)ReplyDelete
I was Ok with the death of Hostess thing up until you said "Hostess Raspberry Filled Powdered Donuts." Maybe the Mayans were right! The world is actually going to end! ;)ReplyDelete
I always thought a great practical joke be to drop a Ding Dong at center ice for a face off in an NHL game. I mean it's a snack cake for a hockey puck! Oh the mayhem! Wait ... the NHL's gone too??? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO??? RIP Twinkies.ReplyDelete
I'm so impressed that you got through that whole post without shorting out your keyboard with tears. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.ReplyDelete
Terrible loss! Be strong!ReplyDelete