A few nights ago our family had an impromptu push-up competition. I don't mean to brag, but I was able to pound 1 boy push-up and 12 girl push-ups. Take that all you stupid bullies that pushed me around in elementary school!
The kids were stunned into silence while witnessing my incredibly enormous strength. I am finally reaping the rewards of all the time I spend weight lifting (exactly, um, zero hours).
On the bright side, I did beat my wife in our competition!
Disclaimer: my wife has two broken elbows.