Wednesday, May 29, 2013

My Last Will and Testament

The Bryce 100 is a mere two (no, not a typo) days away. Last night my kids offered to paint my toe nails so that I won't see if (when?) they turn black.

If by chance you'd like to follow my progress during the race, my sweet wife may be posting occasional updates on my Facebook page HERE. It starts Friday morning and ends Saturday evening.

This whole ultramarathon thing is all fun and games.......until someone gets their face clawed off! The race director Matt Gunn posted this picture from the course a few days ago. These are BEAR TRACKS. (Also not a typo. Bear.)

I don't anticipate dying from a bear attack during this run. There will be plenty of runners ahead of me to clear the bears out. But just in case, I would hate to perish without leaving all of you kind blog readers something personal. You'll just have to divide this stuff among yourselves.

I, Cory Reese, bequeath to you kind blog readers:

1) That box of pottery in the garage from my college ceramics class. (My wife will be SO happy that you're taking this off our hands.)

2) Anything you can find in our treat cupboard. Top shelf. Between you and me, there are a few bags of Cadbury Eggs up there.

3) If you're lucky, I think there may be some boondoggle key chains from my days as a young scout. And who doesn't love a good boondoggle key chain.

4) I'd offer our grass trimmer but that thing is such a piece of garbage that I'd have to pay you to take it.

5) My collection of CDs from high school. (Hope you like Boys II Men, Depeche Mode, and Hootie & The Blowfish.)

Please be respectful of each other. I don't want to be causing a lot of fighting for my stuff. That's not how I want to go out. (Dear bears, I taste like mushrooms and cauliflower and other yucky things. Don't eat me.)


  1. I haven't thought about boondoggle key chains in ages! I spent entire road trip across the country when I was a kid making those things.

    And mushrooms are amazing.

    Good luck! You'll be amazing! I'm running a marathon on Saturday morning so I'll pretend we're running together (insert creepy stalker sounds).

  2. Oh, I'll take a boondoggle keychain! But, I'm pretty sure you're faster than most bears. Good luck!

  3. If I didn't already have those cds...

    Have a great time and I hope you don't get eaten or chased by a bear!

  4. As I told ANOTHER friend running a 100 miler Saturday (boy do I have crazy friends), every time I get sick of being on my bike at Dirty Kanza I'm going to think about you and be glad I'm not running. ;-)

    Good luck!! Can't wait to hear all about it!!

  5. I'll fight everyone for the Boys II Men CD...I only have it on tape and I've been looking to upgrade. :)

    Good luck at the race! Hold onto those toenails!

  6. Just remember, you don't have to run faster than the bear. You only have to run faster than the slowest runner. Good Luck!!

  7. If no one wants the chocolate eggs I'd like to call dibs on them. But only in the case of a catastrophic bear attack. And I definitely would share ... maybe one.

  8. Oh man, too bad you don't have any Flock of Seagulls or George Michael....;-D

    Good luck & remember, you only have to be faster than 1 person with a bear ;)

  9. Well I am sure you will survive (bear and all) but just in case Dibs on the cd's!! :) Good Luck and enjoy the run :)

  10. I hope to clear the bears out before you, but if I'm in a death march tap me on the shoulder and remind me to hurry up. ;)

  11. Ha, another ultra! All the best and enjoy! I think I'll fight for the CD collection :) Depeche Mode rocked!

  12. Well, you're out there right now. I said a little prayer for you, and I'll be tracking you on facebook. Go get it, Cory!

  13. I have friends out there running with you. thinking of you all as the hours go by. Bryce needs tracking so those who can't be there don't go crazy waiting for word on our runners. be safe. breath and run long!