Thursday, June 18, 2015

Rabbits Are From Hell

I bet you didn't know this but rabbits are from Hell. Rabbits were invented by Satan who then strategically placed those demonic animals in hidden locations on remote, desolate trails.

So this is how it works. A runner will be cruising down a trail, zoned out, minding his own business. Within a split second there is a rustle in the bushes and then suddenly one of Satan's house pets a rabbit will run right in front of you.

You will be scared to death because at first all you see is something darting out of the bushes. It could be something frightening. Like a mountain lion. Or a bear. Or Celine Dion. At the moment that spawn of Satan rabbit runs in front of you, you involuntarily scream like a girl. And then, even though nobody else saw, you suddenly feel really embarrassed about how you just acted.

I'm not going to say whether or not this actually happened to me during my run this weekend. I'll just tell you that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER have a rabbit foot on my keychain.

I ran in Browse, Utah for the first time. Haven't heard of it? That's okay. Neither has 99.91817374% of the population. As far as I could tell, the only thing on the Browse freeway off-ramp is a dirt road leading to the mountains. Sounds like just the kind of place I want to run.

The road is a challenging place to run. There is lots of climbing, some rocky sections, and so much heat that it felt like running through a furnace while wearing fleece pajamas and drinking hot chocolate. Still, it was beautiful. Dear trails: I love you too.

I know precisely nothing about yoga. But I'm pretty sure my hands (not to mention the nostalgic gaze) are all wrong. These kind of jumps are the hardest for me.

I was thankful that I was alone on the run. Because I must have looked fairly ridiculous running back and forth following a butterfly hoping it would land so I could snap a picture. Finally with some patience....mission accomplished.

Next time you are running alone, beware of mountain lions, bears, Celine Dion, and rabbits. You can't say you weren't warned.


  1. Had the same problem with chipmunks this morning. Bastards..

  2. I had a dream last night that a rabbit was singing My Heart Will Go On, I didn't realise that I was channelling your worst nightmare.

  3. This is HILARIOUS! Because, same. We have rabbits all over our lawn and backyard and they jump out at you at the most inopportune times. You hit it on the nose, Cory! LOL...