Progression Of A 100 Miler

Exactly one month ago I had just finished my first 100 miler, the Javelina Jundred. (Coincidentally one month ago my toenails hurt so bad that it was hard to sleep.)

One cool thing about this race was the fact that it is run in seven loops (the first six are 15.4 miles each and the last lap is 9 miles). My sister and official crew photographer had a great idea: she took a picture of how I looked after each lap. Crazy bug eyes are apparent in all pictures, though I look noticeably more like a zombie after 29 hours of running on lap seven. Here is the progression of my 100 miler:

Lap One (mile 15.4)


Lap Two (mile 30.8)


Lap Three (mile 46.2)


Lap Four (mile 61.6)


Lap Five (mile 77)


Lap Six (mile 92.4)


Lap Seven (mile 101.4)


Notice the cheese sandwich on my knee. That thing didn't stay in my stomach for too long after I ate it. Grrrross.

You've Got To See This

My friend Steven Sharp Nelson is a brilliant cello player. I had him play on my last two piano CDs and was constantly amazed at his skills. He seriously is brilliant.

His newest video was posted only one week ago and already has nearly 2 million (MILLION!) views. It is basically awesome. You ought to check it out:

On The Verge Of A Crisis

"It's not the races you enter that count. It's your runs in training and sticking with it. It's how you adjust to injury and how you recover that makes you a good runner." ~ Dave Hladysh

Our family is on the verge of a crisis. Our washing machine passed on to Washing Machine Heaven almost two weeks ago. Home Depot is not feeling the same urgency we are to do laundry. Our floor is now a layer of dirty clothes. Our children are about to become the stinky kids at school that you always hated sitting by. Please rescue us Home Depot. We promise we won't put anymore Chapstick in the washing machine. Helllllllllp!


On Monday I attempted a run. I woke up early and put on layer after layer of clothing. I started running and it was bitter cold and blowing like a hurricane (no accident that I live in a city named Hurricane). I made it one mile before realizing that this was possibly the dumbest thing ever and nobody with more than seven brain cells should be out running in this condition. I have barely more than seven brain cells so I went home. Fail.

On Wednesday I ran 11.2 miles on some beautiful trails. But in good conscience I can't really call this one a run. I hiked way more than I ran. Although my camera happened to catch this nerdy-looking runner heading down the trail:


It was cold and windy. My muscles felt tight, kind of like Laffy Taffy that just came out of the refrigerator. Don't you hate when you get a case of Laffy Taffy Legs? I snapped this picture at the end. What I lack in speed and athletic ability, I make up for in self-timer skillz.


It was the anniversary of the attack at Pearl Harbor. We went there last year and I snapped this photo inside the memorial:


Saturday was a little 3 mile jaunt through the Red Cliffs Desert Reserve. This trail is exactly one mile from my house. In the hundreds and hundreds of miles I have run on trails I have never, ever seen another runner. I've seen maybe 10 mountain bikers over the last few years but never another runner. Until Saturday! In passing, I didn't tell her that our washing machine was broken so I was wearing dirty running clothes.


Did you watch the Biggest Loser marathon? Although I don't think it's wise to jump from morbidly obese to marathon in 5 months, I loved watching the show. I was so impressed, especially with the last finishers who took more than 10 hours. I have a tender spot in my heart for the slow runners (probably because I relate to them so much). Major props to them, and anyone else who uses a marathon as their goal to get in shape!

101 Things - Secrets Revealed

1. I desperately want to go to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.
2. I would give anything to be able to grow a moustache like Burt Reynolds.
3. Words can’t describe how much I hate airplanes.
4. My kids have complained that I take too many pictures of them.
5. My library card is used often. I’m usually reading 3-4 books at any given time.
6. My heart is broken every year by the Utah Jazz.
7. I’ve met George Bush (the old one) and Gordon B. Hinckley.
8. Our shih tzu is morbidly obese.
9. I have a bad reputation for passing out when I get my blood drawn.
10. Kids + pouring a gallon of milk on cereal = recipe for disaster. I still love them anyway.

11. I enjoy Letterman, Survivor, and Colbert.
12. I am proud of being frugal and thrifty.
13. I’ve never met a kind of candy I didn’t like.
14. Except for the color, my hair resembles a Chia Pet.
15. My car traps odors. You can smell a Big Mac for a week.
16. I have a sweet tooth that would put Willy Wonka to shame.
17. I have never seen any Star Wars, Rocky, or Harry Potter movies.
18. I think the name “Herb” is funny. I wouldn’t mind having that as my nickname.
19. The scent of seafood makes me want to upchuck.
20. While I respect their abilities, I detest music by Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Pat Benetar, Gloria Estefan, or Santana.
21. Dentists were created by the devil.
22. I have no doubt that I could eat my weight in pumpkin pie.
23. For the most part, politicians make my blood boil.
24. I would love to be the director of a Gospel choir in the Deep South. Not that I can sing. Nor have I ever directed a choir.
25. Once I sprained my ankle and instinctively said words I shouldn’t have said in front of people I shouldn’t have said them.
26. Is it a requirement for figure skaters to wear sequins? How depressing. If I’m ever having a bad day at work, I will remind myself “At least you don’t have to wear sequins.”
27. 101 is a lot of things.
28. I wish my car had sirens I could turn on when someone is driving really slow in the fast lane.
29. My children can recite lines from Napoleon Dynamite.
30. I can recite lines from Napoleon Dynamite.
31. One of my biggest fears is getting old.
32. I married a patient, forgiving, selfless, compassionate person.
33. I have a firm belief that Cream of Mushroom Soup is over-used in the culinary world which is a shame because it’s pretty yucky.
34. I haven’t ever used alcohol, cigarettes, or heroin.
35. I am very picky when it comes to buying shoes.
36. I have never, and will never own a cat.
37. I like to listen to ESPN Radio on my way to work.
38. I can be bribed to do anything with cupcakes.
39. My wife often forgets to change the lint trap on the clothes dryer. So when I change it, it looks like a kitchen rug.
40. OneRepublic makes some incredible music.
41. I take a daily multi-vitamin, Glucosamine, and fish oil capsules.
42. I’m trying to be like Jesus. Sometimes the closest I get is owning a pair of sandals.
43. Now that I have run 100 miles, I believe I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.
44. I wish spinach tasted like churros.
45. When I was younger, my brother and I would sneak out of the house at night, ride our bikes to the grocery store, and buy ice cream.
46. I get predictably grumpy when I am tired.
47. The temperature in my office is either Sauna or Meat Locker. I prefer Meat Locker.
48. When I die, I don’t want to have a funeral. I want everyone to have a party and have fun and laugh and eat lots of junk food. And possibly hire a stand-up comedian for one of the speakers.
49. I learned from experience that my car isn’t built to drive up snow-covered hills.
50. I kind of like the Buttered Popcorn flavored Jelly Belly Beans.
51. I think my wife Melanie is a babe.
52. With my life, I am much more interested in quality than quantity.
53. A mouse lost its life in my desk drawer at work. It was grrrrrrross.
54. I like to surround myself with people who have a good sense of humor and don’t take things too seriously.
55. I feel guilty when I drink regular soda instead of diet.
56. I have never broken a bone.
57. My brother and sister are ambitious.
58. I wish I could play the cello. I’d listen to myself all day and never leave the house.
59. I wish I could make rolls as good as elementary school cafeterias.
60. I have LOTS of female in-laws that live close by. There is nothing worse than hearing about certain times of the month.
61. I am an eternal optimist.
62. I once got my mouth washed out with soap for calling my brother stupid.
63. I’m sorry I called you stupid. You are much, much smarter than me.
64. Note to self: Ivory Soap doesn’t taste nearly as good as it smells.
65. I am a photography nerd.
66. Among the phone numbers I have saved in my phone: Domino’s Pizza, Café Rio, and the Piano Gallery.
67. My chemistry teacher in high school drank more Mountain Dew than should be legal for a human being to consume.
68. The people I work with are very, very smart.
69. Church sometimes makes me sleepy.
70. I would like to meet Bruce Springsteen, Lance Armstrong, and David Letterman. And ultrarunning freak of nature Karl Meltzer. (Karl - I'm going to be in Salt Lake over New Years. Call me.)
71. A rain storm is the best smell in the whole world.
72. I admire people who are humble, thankful, giving, and appreciative.
73. Banana bread, pumpkin pie shakes, and toffee are scrumptious.
74. I am positive that I was a first grade teacher in my past life. I LOVE going to help at the elementary school.
75. Our dog likes to tip over garbage cans and make a big mess of the garbage. He is lucky to be alive.
76. Sleep apnea makes me stop breathing a couple hundred times a night so I’ve slept with a CPAP for lots of years. I loathe my CPAP.
77. Anyone with sleep apnea needs their spouse to make baked goods including cake and pie at least once per week.
78. As a kid, I liked Alf, Silver Spoons, The Wonder Years, Mr. Belvedere, Small Wonder, and Charles In Charge.
79. I survived two winters in Wyoming. (I’ll pause a moment and let you finish your applause.)
80. In my high school anatomy class we dissected a cat. A cat!
81. Running is contagious.
82. I nearly needed a clean pair of britches a few years ago during a particularly bumpy flight into St. George. If friends weren’t with me, I would have kissed the ground when we finally landed.
83. Without my contacts in, I am as blind as an NBA referee.
84. It bothers me when my girls listen to music from Mama Mia. This is the reason ear plugs were invented.
85. I have an in-law who likes to use the phrase “Quite frankly…” to begin many sentences. Quite frankly, it always brings a smile to my face.
86. My sassy and funny sister-in-law Rachel uses the phrase “Y’ain’t” which is always very funny. I’m going to try to use that in my vocabulary more often. “Kids – y’ain’t gonna get none of my Mike & Ike’s so stop asking!”
87. Why don’t children understand the concept of sleeping in?
88. My wife thrives on telling me gross things that she does while working as a nurse at the hospital.
89. I wouldn’t mind being Nacho Libre.
90. I have three pieces of toast and hot chocolate for breakfast on my way to work every day.
91. My knees often don’t cooperate.
92. Maybe it’s because I eat three pieces of toast everyday for breakfast.
93. I don’t understand the appeal of CSI, vampire movies, or Red Lobster.
94. Beagles have a loud, and very funny bark.
95. My memory leaves a lot to be desired.
96. Sometimes I have a problem with laughing during the prayer.
97. Getting a root canal is the next closest thing to being struck by lightning.
98. Mel’s family is so tight-knit that they sometimes discuss their bowel movements with each other. That's when I leave the room.
99. I firmly believe that figure skating would be so much more enjoyable to watch if everyone wasn’t wearing sequins.
100. Does it make me less of a man if I admit that I don’t mind Taylor Swift’s music?
101. I think if I let my hair grow out, it would look like I French-kissed a light socket.

I Blame The Peanut Butter Bars

"26 miles 385 yards is where racing ends and ludicrous extremes begin."
- from "Runner's World"

I sincerely wish spinach tasted like churros. That would make it so much easier to eat healthy! I'm trying to eat a decent amount of fruits and vegetables to counteract all the peanut butter bars and cookies I've been eating this week which have caused my diminishing fitness.

This week I went on my first real run since the Javelina Jundred three weeks ago. The ol' knees are still a bit tender so I'm easing back slowly. A good chunk of my first run on Wednesday was more of a power hike. I'd guess I went 9-10 miles but don't know for sure since I didn't wear my Garmin. (I went about a month without wearing a Garmin watch. Glorious!)

I took a new path near the Jem trail that I can't believe I've never explored before. I've run past it a churroillian times put never ran it before. So many trails around here are spectacular but I believe this was the most spectacular-est trail I've ever been on (which happens to be part of the Zion 100 course).

I came up over this little hill and suddenly a view of Zion National Park opened up right before me:


I stopped for about 10 minutes just soaking in the view. Trust me when I tell you that pictures don't do it justice. I thought about how fortunate I am to be surrounded by a network of amazing desert trails. With scenery like this, its hard not to be drawn to the dirt.


Wednesday night Jackson competed in the Basketball Hoop Shoot contest for the school. All the students who entered had two rounds to see who could make the most free throws. And Jackson won! He won this basketball and now moves on to regionals. So proud of him.


Saturday morning I met Matt Gunn for the first time, race director of the Zion 100. He was showing a group of runners some of the course for the race in May. Usually I prefer to run by myself but it helped to have him there to describe some of the course directions to us:


Windchill as we started was 26 degrees. I realized that I have certainly lost some of my fitness over the last three weeks since the 100 miler. After a mile I was sweating like a dog in a sauna. I far exceeded the FDA's guidelines on How Much A Person Should Be Sweating In 26 Degree Temps. It felt like I was coming back to running after sitting on the couch for three weeks eating peanut butter bars. (Oh.....wait.....)

We did the trail leading to the top of Gooseberry Mesa. I was anxious to see what the hardest part of the course was like. The website describes the climb as "brutal" ascending more than 1,500 feet in less than one mile. This little hill was just the appetizer:


The views going up were actually amazing enough to take my mind off the fact that my lungs were filling with molten lava inside my chest.


I decided (okay, my knees decided) that I'd head back a little before reaching the peak. The rest of the group did about 18 miles but my total was 7. A hard-earned 7. This run/hike was a good boost psychologically because I like to know the worst of what I'm in for. And actually, the worst wasn't horrible. The trail was pretty good and if you take it slow it's definitely manageable. I was actually slower going down than up just to make sure my footing was okay. (Notice the frost forming on my hat. Temperature certainly felt cooler 1000 feet up.)


I'd like to tell you that chocolate will find its way to my stomach less frequently this week. But my sweet wife just made another pan of peanut butter bars. And I lack self-control when they are sitting there in front of me. And I lack the self-control to tell her not to make them. I think I'm set for another good week.

Do you love or loathe your Garmin watch?
I want to wear mine less so I can get better at listening to my body instead of worrying about pace.

Do you like running in the cold?
As long as my head and hands are warm I love the cooler weather.

Is junk food your friend during the holidays?
My blood is starting to clog with oatmeal from all the no-bake cookies I've eaten.