Choosing To Suffer

Every single day at work I am surrounded by people who are being bombarded with UNINTENTIONAL suffering. They have kidney failure and are faced with a life on dialysis. Some have cancer. Some are old and have to depend on other people for everything. The thought of facing those challenges scares me. A lot. They don't have a choice. There is no escape from their suffering.

But with running, I am in control of my suffering. Even when I am most miserable - when my legs are cramping like crazy, or when I'm dehydrated and sick, or when I'm so exhausted that I start talking to Care Bears - one thought keeps me going: I CHOSE THIS! Nobody is making me do this. It is my choice.

And all those people who are drowning in unintentional suffering would LOVE to be able to be out on a trail running 50 miles even if it meant they were cramping like crazy, and dehydrated, and exhausted, and talking to Care Bears. They would trade places with me in a heart beat.

I have a sweet high school friend named Alisa who is in the middle of a hard-fought battle with cancer. Alisa is one of the kindest, happiest, most courageous people you could ever hope to meet. I couldn't get out of my mind that before she got really sick, she was training for her first half marathon. It made me really, really mad that cancer took her race away from her. I have felt helpless wishing there was something I could do.

The night before the Buffalo Run 50 miler I told Alisa I was going to run it for her. If she couldn't be out there running, I'd try to do it for her. I wrote Alisa's name on my hand to remind me of her when things got hard. Because no matter how difficult my race became, it was absolutely nothing compared to the race she was facing.

I hope I am able to continue running for a long time. I hope I don't take running for granted. I hope that when I am suffering, I remember that it was my choice, and there are countless people who didn't choose their suffering. I hope I can be there when Alisa runs her first half marathon.

Got Myself In A Risky Situation

Monday, April 2nd 2012: 6 miles @ 10:53 minutes per mile. Just the ordinary, early morning pre-work run.

In the evening I ran 8 miles @ 11:42 minutes per mile. It was a busy day and I wasn’t able to get out to run until almost 10:00pm. Ouch. That makes for a late night. With the 100 miler coming up, I’m starting to focus on making sure that each training mile has a purpose. The purpose in these miles was to run when I was tired, and do some trail running in the dark.

I'm not a fan of running trails in the dark. I worry about becoming dinner for a mountain lion. During the run I did see two pairs of glowing, beady eyes up ahead. I get a little jumpy when I see something moving in the shadows. Probably just rabbits.


Tuesday, April 3rd 2012: Rest.

Wednesday, April 4th 2012: 21 miles @ 15:21 minutes per mile. I really need to get some heat training so I wore a long sleeve shirt underneath a long sleeve black biking shirt. Combined with the 80 degree temps, I think that did the trick. On the trail toward Gooseberry Mesa I came across a herd of cows. All of them darted off…..except for one baby calf.


Since I am pretty much The Cow Whisperer, I walked calmly up to him and almost got close enough to pet him. He was a cute little guy. I considered cow-napping him and taking him home to the kids. If you look closely you can see him smiling at me:


The trail up to the top of Gooseberry Mesa is positively brutal. It climbs more than 1,500 feet in less than a mile. Even on fresh legs, it kicked my butt. We will be reaching this point on race day after having already run 40 miles. Wowzers.


The trails on top are some of the most technical I have ever run. Many miles are on rolling slick rock and the trail is marked by little white dots spray painted on the rocks:


The scenery up here is just spectacular. Pictures don’t even come close to doing justice to the amazing views. That little line across the desert is a highway.


I came across some guys from Germany who were jealous that I lived near “mountain biker’s heaven”. They asked me to take a picture of them, then offered to take one of me.


Around mile 11 I realized I might have a problem. It started earlier in the day when I was packing for the run. I noticed a small hole in the bladder of my hydration pack. So instead, I threw two bottles of water into the pack and took two handheld bottles.

At mile 11 I had turned around to head back but was worried that I might be running low on water. I had another 10 miles of heat and hard trails ahead of me. I saw a mountain biker coming up, swallowed my pride, and asked if he had a little water to spare but he didn’t.

An hour later I was starting to feel panicked. It was so hot and I was almost out of water. I saw three more mountain bikers coming up but I just let them pass without asking for water. I really hate asking for help for anything in everyday life, but I also felt like such an idiot for letting myself get into this position.


After they passed I heard them stop for a minute. I turned around and went back to them. I said “Do you guys happen to have a little bit of extra water?” I told them I still had an hour or two to go and I was almost out of water. In an instant all three of them had their packs off offering to fill my bottles. They were an answer to my prayers. I would have hugged them. But that might have been a little awkward.

Another 45 minutes later I saw a camper up ahead. My water was almost out again and I prayed that someone would be in the camper to spare some water. I called out but nobody answered. Then I saw a card table in the front of the camper with a box of bottled water. Another prayer answered. I figured they wouldn’t mind sparing a bottle.

It actually took me longer to go down the Gooseberry trail than it took to go up because it is so steep and rocky and I didn’t want to twist an ankle. I was thankful to get back to my car.

In all the hundreds and hundreds of miles I have run alone on trails, this was the first time I have ever felt like I put myself in a bad position. I am normally overly prepared and it’s important to me to be safe. I couldn’t have guessed that a little hole in my hydration pack would lead to this situation. I’m embarrassed that I let this happen and feel truly grateful for the kindness of strangers. I promise I will pay it forward.

“Alex, can I take Stupid Running Decisions for $500?” In the wise words of Susan Donnelly, it was an “unnecessary amount of epic-ness per mile.”

Thursday, April 5th 2012: Rest.

Friday, April 6th 2012: 9 miles @ 11:38 minutes per mile. I woke up at 3:50am to get in the run before work. That, my friends, is not a typo. I. Woke. Up. At. 3:50am. I knew that was the only free time I’d have all day. But guess what’s really nuts…..Mel came with me! I didn’t even bribe or threaten. She volunteered! I really loved running with her.

Saturday, April 7th 2012: 21 miles @ 13:08 minutes per mile. I ran the Hurricane Rim / Jem Trail / Gould's Rim loop. There are many miles of the trails which aren't necessarily hard, but hard to run fast. I felt pretty good overall.

I over-dressed with a few long sleeve shirts again to get more heat training. It was around 75 degrees. Note to self: It's difficult to look hard-core when you're wearing tights.


I was happy with how the week went. Even though the 65 miles weren't very fast, most of them were on some pretty tough trails with a total of 9,572 feet of climbing. Goals for the coming week: 1) Don't wake up at 3:50am to run, 2) Don't risk ending up on the news because I didn't pack enough water, and 3) Be generous enough to share at least a little of the pumpkin pie sitting in our fridge with the kids.

50 Mile Wrap Up

The Buffalo Run 50 Miler is firmly in the rear view mirror. A few more parting thoughts:

The night before the race I talked with my eight year old daughter Danica. She gave me three pieces of advice:

1) Don't fall.
2) Start off slow so that you have energy to run strong at the end. (This little nugget made me so happy. Somehow she already understands the importance of pacing yourself.)
3) Try to win the race.

Thankfully I accomplished #1 and #2. I love how my kids are still young enough that they think I'm going to win the races I enter. They don't quite understand my lack of speed. And I'm okay with that.

I hadn't ever been to Antelope Island before and had no idea that there were actually mountains on the island. My GPS died at mile 39 but you can see how much more challenging the first 20 miles are compared to the last 30.


In my race report I mentioned that I talked a little bit with a guy named Chris Boyack who was running the 100 mile race. Click here to see his must-read race report.

And finally, I was lucky enough to get a jumping picture at the race:


Within 10 minutes of leaving the island, I was standing in a 7-11 dying to get my hands on a Slurpee. Let me tell you my friends - there has never existed a finer post-race beverage. (That is if a Slurpee qualifies as a beverage.)

Very Un-Awesome

I have experienced a number of things that are very, very un-awesome. A few of these include:

1) Once I stopped at Home Depot on the way to work to buy some bags of cow manure for the lawn and left them sitting in my hot car all day. The smell in my car for the following two weeks.....very, very un-awesome.

2) Once I passed out while getting my blood drawn. Waking up on the floor with a nurse cradling my head in her hands......very, very un-awesome.

3) Once I was in an airport when a Gloria Estifan song came on the speaker system. There was nowhere I could run to escape the sound. My ear drums were weeping. Very, very un-awesome.

4) Middle school. Start to finish. Especially playing Shirts and Skins in PE while the girls watched. And how did I always end up being Skins? Very, very, VERY un-awesome.

On Wednesday I had another experience which was very, very un-awesome: getting a metal post drilled into my jaw. This dental implant is like twisting a screw into a piece of wood. Except instead of putting the screw into a piece of wood.....it gets screwed into your jaw bone. You guessed it......very, very un-awesome.

Source

On Saturday I ran for the first time since the 50 miler last week. Almost all of the muscle soreness is gone and I'm feeling pretty good. I've made sure to give plenty of rest time. I ran 7 miles near Gooseberry Mesa.


I had a few peeps join me on the trail: Mel's step-mom Dottie, Mel, and our good friend Jess who will be doing some pacing for me at the Zion 100. (I have warned Jess that she may see me differently than she's ever seen me before. (Such as crying like a little girl, or laying on the side of the trail in fetal position begging to die.)


I have become quite fond of this windmill that is on the trail. As opposed to all those un-awesome things I mentioned, this windmill is actually highly, highly awesome.


It's safe to say that I'm getting a little (understatement of the year) scared about the Zion 100 coming up in six weeks. That leaves me three more weeks of training and then three weeks to taper. Cue the butterflies in the stomach.

Have any of you had something very un-awesome happen lately?

Be A Pacer - Run For Free!

Do you like to run?
Do you like to help others?
Would you like to be involved in a race for FREE?

If you answered yes to those questions, boy do I have an idea for you!

The Zion 100 coming up on May 11-12 is looking for pacers to help runners during the later stages of the race. Here are the perks: 1) You get to participate in part of the race without paying anything. 2) You get to use the same aid stations and eat whatever you want. 3) You get a free dinner. 4) You get a free shirt. 5) You get to help another runner who is looking for some companionship.


Here are some responses to some common concerns about pacing:

I don't even know what a pacer is.
A pacer is basically there to give some company to the runners. After running 60 or 70 miles, your mind can get a little fuzzy. The pacer helps make sure their runner stays on the course, makes sure they are eating and drinking, and gives the runner someone to talk to. Click HERE to read more about what a pacer does.

I can't run that far.
You can choose how far you want to go. You want to run 7 miles? Perfect! 11 miles? Great! 17 miles? Excellent. You decide.

I can't run fast.
The word "pacer" is a little deceiving. You aren't going to be striving to keep someone at a certain pace. Think of it more as a companion than a pacer. Trust me - by the time you meet up with your runner, they will have run lots and lots of miles already. They will be very tired, and likely walking a lot more than running. Speed definitely isn't an issue.

If you're considering getting into ultra running, this is an excellent opportunity to see what it's all about. If you just like to run and want to be involved in the festivities, I think this is right up your alley.

Click HERE and follow the link to volunteer and become a pacer. I guarantee it will be a good time!