Hostess Celebration Running Party 2013!

My idea of a fun Friday night: friends, family, running, and Hostess. Seriously, does it get any better than that? The only thing missing was a concert with Mumford and Sons playing a concert in the driveway while we ran.

Friday night we had a running party to celebrate the return of Hostess. The invite went out to anyone interested. We had a really fun group of people show up for a good time. A couple dozen more people showed up after we took a group shot.

My daughter Kylee spent some time before the event decorating our aid station.

Dani did a little decorating herself. (Karma came back to catch her after this picture. This little beauty was up until 2:00am with a sick stomach. Diagnosis: Too Many Donuts Syndrome.)

Everyone brought a treat to add to the aid station on our driveway. Thankfully the majority of the high fructose corn syrup was Hostess.

I also filled a jug with Tailwind. I heard lots of favorable comments and the jug was empty by the end of the event.

Our course was a one mile loop around my house. It was cool seeing so many people running around my stomping ground. I am spoiled to have Zion National Park in my backyard.

I had so much fun hanging out with friends in a no-pressure, casual fun run.

I was happy that the Walsh's came. These amazing people worked the aid station at mile 83of the Zion 100 and had a huge cinnamon roll waiting for me when I got there. They are the definition of happiness, kindness, and fun.

Micah won the Sugar Slayer award at this past year's Baker's Dozen Half Marathon. Skillz.

Some crazy cat forgot to bring shoes to the run:

Bonus points awarded for this apparel:

My awesome wife got in 13 miles, including this one with Dani:

The time for the run was 8pm to midnight and everyone could run as far as they wanted. Some people ran a mile or two. Some people ran all four hours.

We were treated to a mighty splendid sunset:

I really loved running some miles with each of the kids.

Jackson is determined and hard working. He kept going almost the entire time and finished ten miles!

Around 11pm the crowd had thinned out and there were only around 15 of us still out running. Hanging out with a bunch of other runners definitely makes the time pass quicker.

I've run a few races with Susette from You'll Always Have My Heart. Susette and her daughter traveled all the way from northern Utah for the run. Wowzers. Her daughter made a distance PR of 11 miles!

I found some prizes at the thrift store for the man and woman who ran the farthest. The male award: a trophy of someone who looks like they're trying to jump. The female award: a glittery picture of a unicorn.

At the end of the run there were four of us who covered 18 miles.

My friend Steve won the pseudo-jumper trophy looking fresh enough that he could have easily kept running for many more hours.

The co-winners of the highly coveted glittery unicorn picture were Katrina (who drove from Vegas!) and our family friend Michelle.

We had a fun night. In related news, the Baker's Dozen Half Marathon is similar to this run except that it's a real race with a shirt, prizes, and a big race medal. (Last year's race report HERE.) I'm waiting back on final approval from the city but they've given me a tentative thumbs-up for December 14th. Can't wait.

Will we have another neighborhood running party again? Are Twinkies and Hostess Donettes the most artificial and delicious foods known to mankind? The answer to both of those questions is the same: a resounding YES!

Running Through Two States

On Monday night I had a few free hours. I considered the Judge Judy marathon on TV. (Or not.) Instead of TV I grabbed the running shoes and headed to the trails. Warner Valley to be exact. This is a long, desolate route that eventually will take you to the Grand Canyon.

With a late start, I packed my head lamp knowing that more of the run would be in the dark than in the light. This was my first run in a new pair of shoes so I tested their jumping ability. I need to get better at this jump so it can look like a true yoga pose. (Total hours I've spent in my life doing yoga = 0.)

The temperature outside felt like I was trapped inside an Easy Bake Oven. As miserable as that is, I can use the heat training. I really love that feeling of being out in the absolute middle of nowhere knowing there isn't another human being as far as the eye can see. It was a beautiful night in the desert.

I've done some research and figured out that after 6.5 miles you cross into Arizona. But out on the trail there is sign or marker saying that you've crossed from Utah to Arizona. So I made my own state line. Dear Bureau of Land Management: You're welcome.

It got dark on my way back to the car (I did 14 miles total). Just me and the light of my head lamp. And then all the sudden something whizzed right past my face. I think it was a bat that saw my light. It caught me off guard. It. Scared. The. Stuffing. Out. Of. Me. I made this little yelp that a grown man shouldn't make. I was so thankful nobody witnessed that spectacle. Otherwise they would make fun of me for the rest of time. I finished the run in the best way possible: purchase the biggest Coke Slurpee money can buy. Twas a beautiful night in the desert.

My Next 100 Miler - You're Better Than You Think

Last year I dressed up like a clown, ran 78 miles, and got my butt royally kicked at the Javelina Jundred. You can read about that humbling disgrace HERE. As I laid on the ground in pain whimpering like a baby after not finishing the race, I vowed not to return. And yet that race is so fun. I couldn't help myself. I signed up for the race again coming up in October!

I ran the Corner Canyon 50k with my friend Catherine. She is a fellow social worker that I work with. That race was her first ultra and she was hooked. She will be running Javelina as her first 100. This. Is. Awesome.

My scrawny chicken legs carried me 51 miles last week. (With muscles as enormous as mine, it's safe to assume that nobody has ever accused me of using steroids or performance enhancing drugs.)

Monday, July 22nd: 8 miles early before work.
Tuesday, July 23rd: 5 miles speedwork.
Wednesday, July 24th: Pioneer Day 5k with the fam.
Thursday, July 25th: 10 miles way too early before work.
Friday, July 26th: 5 miles, legs were very slug-like.
Saturday, July 27th: 20 miles.

Here are a few highlights from the week:

On Monday I was joined by my friends Shane and Karrie on a jaunt through the Red Cliffs Desert Reserve. Hot, muggy, and beautiful.

Tuesday night I went out shooting a lightning storm. It was right overhead so I watched most of the show from my car. I wasn't in the mood to play with electricity. But I did get a few pictures:

Wednesday was the Pioneer Day 5k. Pioneer Day is a holiday in Utah. It celebrates the pioneers who settled our state. (This is code for: an excuse to take the day off from work, go to a parade, have a barbecue, and watch fireworks.) Our whole family ran the 5k race in the morning. I decided I ought to dress up like a pioneer to run the race. (Lesson learned: It's hard to run in jeans.) My partner was my youngest daughter Kylee:

Kylee was amazing. She has a stride that looks like a real runner. (Unlike her father.) After about a mile she looked up and with an unconcerned look said "Dad, I can't feel my legs. Can you?"

We were the first ones in our family to make it to the finish line so I was able to take a picture of the other kids finishing. Jackson came in next. I never said one word about it, but it was a proud moment when he jumped across the finish line:

And then Danica approached the finish line. And with absolutely no prompting....she jumped too!

We had a great time. And I'm pretty sure that I won't run in jeans again for at least 365 more days.

That night we played with sparklers. What do you get when you add sparklers, three kids, and an open shutter on your camera?

Friday night a huge storm rolled through our area. I went out searching for lightning but didn't get any pictures. Instead I witnessed one of the most amazing sunsets I've seen in ages. The clouds looked like they had been painted across the sky with oil colors.

Saturday's 20 miler started as a group run. I ran the first 11 miles with Shane, Karrie, and Mel:

I was anxious to run on some dirt after that and went near Gould's Rim. A torrential rain storm the night before left the roads and trails soaked. And exceptionally muddy. It was like running in brown Crisco.

It also left some cool puddles that reflected the sky.

I don't know about this whole 100 mile business. I think it is impossible for your legs carry you 100 miles. I've run 100 milers. And I still think it's impossible. I often remind myself of Leadville 100's race director Ken Chlouber who said "You're better than you think you are and you can do more than you think you can!"

Spartan Races and Ultramarathons Are Dumb

Spartan races are the big thing in my neck of the woods right now. For those of you unfamiliar with a Spartan race, it is basically an obstacle course up to 12 miles long. Obstacles include difficult tasks like climbing a big wall, running through mud, and watching an entire episode of The Golden Girls.

I’ll be honest with you. I don’t understand the appeal of Spartan races. So you’re telling me you get to climb under barbed wire and throw spears for twelve miles? Um…..okay. Thanks, but no thanks. Add Spartan to the list of things I’ll never do (including a Ragnar relay, a Rock and Roll Marathon, and eating sushi).

Wait a second before you send your hate mail. I don’t mean to ruffle any Spartan feathers. After all, you guys are strong and could beat me up, give me a weggie, and steal my lunch money. What I’m getting at is that my sport is kind of pointless and dumb too.

I came to this realization at work a few days ago. One of my patients heard that I run 100 mile races. She is a sweet, older lady who reminds me of my grandma. She called me over with a look of concern that reminded me of how a parent would look if their child said they wanted to grow up to be a carnival worker. She wanted all the details. The conversation went like this:

Concerned Grandma: Someone said that you’ve run 100 miles. Is that true?

Me: Yes.

Concerned Grandma: And I heard you’ve done this a few times.

Me: I’ve finished four 100 milers and then started two more but I didn’t finish the whole race.

Concerned Grandma: How many days does it take you to run 100 miles?

Me: It’s not spread out over days. You start in the morning and keep running until you’re done the next day. Most of them have a limit of 30-35 hours.

Concerned Grandma: Does a car drive next to you to make sure you’re okay?

Me: No, the races are on remote trails out in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes you’re all alone in the wilderness for hours without seeing anyone else.

Then I stood there with my words hanging out in the air. Uh oh Cory. Do you realize how idiotic you just sounded? Wilderness? Alone? For HOURS?!?!? Hurry Cory. You’re losing her.

Concerned Grandma: Do you see wildlife? Bears?

Me: Yes, lots of wildlife, but no bears. I’ve only seen bear tracks. (Stupid Cory! Why did you have to say that last part?!?)

Concerned Grandma: Don’t your knees hurt?

Me: Yea, my knees feel really sore in the later parts of the race.

Concerned Grandma: And your feet?

Me: Well, those hurt pretty bad too.

Concerned Grandma: Do you sleep during the run?

Me: No. That’s one of the hardest things about a 100 miler for me. After only seeing by the light of your head lamp, your brain starts to go a little crazy by around 2:00am. I get really, really tired, but when I stumble I wake myself up from the sleep walking.

I finished that sentence and she just stared at me. It was at that moment when I realized my logical reasoning had jumped the track. The appearance of common sense was shattered beyond repair. I thought about trying to change the subject. “Hey, remember when Saturday Night Live was funny?” Instead I just smiled and said “I know, it sounds strange.” I told her to have a good day as I walked away feeling sheepish.

So to all you Spartan racers: your sport still sounds really dumb to me. It sounds lame to swing on ropes and dodge tasers. But I fully endorse you calling ultramarathons really dumb too.

Experiencing pain so intense that it has made a grown man (me) cry……alone in the dark in the middle of nowhere…….bear tracks…….it’s hard to explain but I really love this ultramarathon thing. I love it. I live for it. It is who I am. The finish line of my first 100 miler transformed me and I will never be the same.

My Fears With Trail Running

This past week was about as fun as running gets. (Alright, the track workout wasn't that fun. Neither was that flash flood warning. Okay, the attack of the killer gnats wasn't exactly my idea of a good time. But other than that, it was a great week.)

Monday, July 15th 2013: 5 miles. I took my friends Shane and Karrie on their first visit to the Red Cliffs Desert Reserve. Judging by this picture, it looks like we sent each other a memo before the run saying "Lets dress like a pack of fluorescent markers!

Tuesday, July 16th 2013: 5 miles at....wait for it.....wait for it.....THE TRACK! It seems like the last time I did a speed workout at the track was when MC Hammer was popular. There was a sweet sunrise over the track but an even better sunset that night across the Desert Reserve:

Wednesday, July 17th 2013: 6 miles. Mel and the girls went to a play. My son was at a friend's house. Any time I have a free hour or two without the family I grab the running shoes. Even if it is 98 degrees outside. I haven't been to Gould's Rim for quite a while. I forgot how much I love that trail. As I was heading back, Gooseberry Mesa started glowing on the horizon.

I got back to the car right as the sun was setting.

Thursday, July 18th 2013: 3 miles. I could not drag my sorry self out of bed. I only had time to run a fast 3 before work.

Friday, July 19th 2013: 5 miles. I decided I'd try to make peace with the Hurricane Rim trail. Me and the Hurricane Rim are not BFFs. Much of the trail is pretty technical. And I had my worst fall ever there. I was cruising down a steep hill and my foot caught a rock. Life suddenly went into slow motion and I did an exact Superman impression as I flew through the sky.....before giving a big, wet smooch to Mother Earth.

My other traumatic event on the Hurricane Rim was at mile 90 during the first Zion 100 race. Hmmm, might have a little PTST from that point of the race. So I don't love this trail. But it's close and easily accessible. There was a storm coming in making for some cool clouds. This is Smith Mesa in the distance:

Mid-run my wife called and said there was a flash flood warning posted with lots of lightning coming in. My only two fears with trail running are 1) rattlesnakes and 2) lightning. Since I know that the trail has been trying to kill me for years, I didn't hesitate to cut my run short. Take that Hurricane Rim! I didn't want to run on you anyway.

Saturday, July 20th 2013: 14 miles. I made a mistake. The power went out the day before and when I set my alarm clock I set it for 4:40PM instead of AM. Spoiler alert: I didn't wake up at 4:40AM. That set my run back an hour and a half so I didn't have time to go as far as planned.

I tried out a new jump. In my day they used to call this "Indian Style", but my daughters inform me that in school this is now "Criss Cross Applesauce". I present to you the aerial version of criss cross applesauce:

My destination was an inferno of heat in the middle of the sun Warner Valley. I used to run here all the time but haven't been back for ages. I love the scenery around here. I'll start going back more often.

With around three miles left in the run I found myself in the middle of clouds of gnats. They were swarming me like 10 year old girls around Justin Bieber. I loved it 0%. They were EVERYWHERE. I kept wiping them off my arms, legs, and face. They were getting in my eyes. My nose. My teeth. Did I mention that I loved it 0%? When I got back to the car I started wiping them off my face. Then I looked in the mirror and saw they were all over so I snapped a picture.

I am so amazingly lucky that there are hundreds of miles of trails within a 15 minute drive of my house. You could run a different trail every day of the month. This never gets old. This much fun can't be called training.

Lessons Learned For the Week
1) Who needs a head light when your neon shirts glow in the dark?
2) Avoid trails that are trying to kill you.
3) Pay attention when setting your alarm clock.
4) Douse your body with sun screen AND bug spray.
5) There are more enjoyable, better tasting forms of calorie replacement than gnats.